When my father passed away nine years ago, I found myself helping my mother navigate a world neither of us knew anything about. Then, when I lost her in 2022, I had to go through it all over again - this time handling everything on my own as her sole heir and personal representative.
Despite having been through it before, I still found myself struggling with the complexity of settling an estate. Between the grief and the mountain of responsibilities, even my second time through the process felt overwhelming.
Every Google search led to either law firms selling services or vague articles that left me with more questions than answers. I needed someone to tell me, in plain English, what to do next.
That's why I created Up & Doing.
I recognize that in many ways, my journey was simpler than what others face. As an only child and sole heir, I didn't have to navigate complex family dynamics or disagreements about inheritance.
But even with these advantages, the process was still daunting, and I often felt lost. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must be for those dealing with more complicated family situations on top of everything else.
This isn't a legal resource (I'm not an attorney), and I'm not here to give legal advice. Instead, this is the guide I wish I'd had - a practical, human roadmap through the maze of tasks that come after losing someone you love.
From my experience as both an informal helper and later as an executor/personal representative, I've learned how to navigate funeral arrangements, deal with banks, tackle probate court, handle estate distribution, and manage the countless details that come with settling a loved one's affairs.
Here, you'll find:
- Step-by-step guides written in everyday language
- Real stories from others who've walked this path
- Printable checklists and worksheets
- Tips for dealing with institutions and bureaucracy
- Resources for emotional support and coping
- A community of people who understand what you're going through
Why "Up and Doing"? Because that's what we have to be, even when we least feel like it. Even when grief feels overwhelming. Even when the paperwork seems endless.
We get up, and we keep doing what needs to be done - but we don't have to do it alone or in the dark.
This site won't have all the answers, and it's no substitute for professional legal or emotional counseling when you need it. What it does offer is a helping hand and a clearer path forward, from someone who's been where you are now - twice.
If you're here because you've lost someone, I'm truly sorry. While nothing can make this journey easy, I hope the resources here can make it a little less overwhelming.
About Me
I'm John, an only child who's walked this path twice - first helping my mother navigate my father's estate, and then managing my mother's estate as her personal representative.
After spending countless hours learning these processes and seeing how difficult it can be even in relatively straightforward circumstances, I decided to create the resource I wished I'd had.
When I'm not working on this site, you can find me drinking too much coffee, mowing the lawn, and spending time with my family in Northern Virginia, USA.
Disclaimer: The information provided on this site is based on personal experience and research. It is not legal advice and should not be taken as such. Always consult with appropriate legal and financial professionals for guidance specific to your situation.
Check out my site's other information pages for more about Up & Going: